F>F5ICe 15 CENTS 



PS 3531 
j.0953 
'y6 
1918 
Copy 1 



wmmmmma 



■iiiMHMNMiiiMaiAMMMMIi 



YOU'RE IT 



H. P. Powell 




Successful Rural Plays 

A Strong List From Which to Select Your 
Next Play 

FARM FOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
LEWIS Tubes. For five male and six female characters. Time 
of playing, two hours and a half. One simple exterior, two 
easy interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Flora Goodwin, a 
farmer's daughter, is engaged to Philip Burleigh, a young New 
Yorker. Philip's mother wants him to marry a society woman, 
and by falsehoods makes Flora believe Philip does not love her. 
Dave Weston, who wants Flora himself, helps the deception by 
intercepting a letter from Philip to Flora. She agrees to marry 
Dave, but on the eve of their marriage Dave confesses, Philip 
learns the truth, and he and Flora are reunited. It is a simple 
plot, but full of speeches and situations that sway an audience 
alternately to tears and to laughter. Price, 25 cents. 

HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubes. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two 
hours and a half. Scene, a simple interior — same for all four 
acts. Costumes, modern. One of the strongest plays Mr. Tubbs 
has written. Martin Winn's wife left him when his daughter 
Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son 
of the man who has wronged Martin, makes love to Ruth Winn. 
She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. 
When Martin discovers who Harold is, he orders him to leave 
Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis- 
covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lost him also. Then 
he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. Price 25 cents. 

THE OLD NE'W HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New 

England Drama in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For seven 
males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, 
modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich 
in humor. Easy to act and very effective. A rural drama of 
the "Old Homstead" and "Way Down East" type. Two ex- 
terior scenes, one interior, all easy to set. Full of strong sit- 
uations and delightfully humorous passages. The kind of a play 
everybody understands and likes. Price, 25 cents. 

THE OLD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy 
in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four 
females. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex- 
terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money 
from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer's 
niece, whose husband he claims to be. Her escapes from the 
wiles of the villain and his female accomplice are both starting 
and novel. Price, 15 cents. 

A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in 
Five Acts, by Charles Townsend. For seven males and four 
females, and three supers. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 
One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a 
country lad, twice saves the life of a banker's daughter, which 
results in their betrothal. A scoundrelly clerk has the banker 
in his power, but the White Mountain boy finds a way to check- 
mate his schemes, saves the banker, and wins the girl. Price 
15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



YOU'RE IT 

A Comedy Sketch in One Act 



H. PrPOWELL 

Author of ** Uncertain Silas * 




PHILADELPHIA 
THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1918 






Copyright 1918 by the Penn Publishing Company 



^ps 17 ms 



You're It 
Sao 49360 



YOU'RE IT 



CHARACTERS 

Ellen Ellsworth - - - -an up-to-date ivtfe 
Egbert Ellsworth ... - her husband 
LiZETTE - - - their **Fre7ich " fnaid. Known 

to her ifitunates as ^'^ Light 

Fmgered^' Lizzie Rooney 

Mickey Mulholland - kfiown also as Senor Venustiano 

VlaZf creator of tJie famous 
''Vlaz Valse'' 

Time. — Thirty minutes. 



STORY OF THE PLAY 

Egbert Ellsworth sells an old picture for fifty thou- 
sand dollars, and telephones the glad news home to his 
wife, Ellen. Lizette, Ellen's " French " maid, over- 
hears this and 'phones her crook friend, Mickey Mul- 
holland, known as Senor Vlaz, creator of the " Vlaz 
Valse." Mickey steals Egbert's car and arrives. 
Lizette hides Mickey. When Egbert comes he is un- 
happy. " You haven't lost the money ? " " No, but 
somebody swiped our automobile." Egbert puts his 
wallet in the safe, and he and Ellen depart for a lesson 
at Mickey's studio. Mickey opens the safe, but still 
hangs around. " You've got everything you need in 
your head but brains." Egbert and Ellen return un- 
expectedly, and catch the thieves. Egbert offers them 
their liberty in return for a free waltz lesson. Mickey 
captures Egbert's revolver. " You're it." Lizette 
gets the wallet and the thieves escape. And then it 
turns out that Mickey wasn't so smart, after all. 



COSTUMES, ETC. 

Egbert. About thirty. Business suit, hat and light 
overcoat. 

Ellen. About twenty-seven. At first entrance 
wears a handsome kimono or other loose house dress. 
At second entrance wears handsome evening gown, 
unfastened. Afterward puts on evening coat or wrap, 
and hat, gloves, etc. 

Mickey. About thirty. Evening dress. 

LizETTE. About twenty. Maid's costume of black 
dress, small lace cap, small apron. 



PROPERTIES 



For Egbert: Envelope containing card. Two 
wallets, similar in appearance, both containing bills. 
Pistol. Flashlight. 

For Mickey: Phonograph, records, needles. 

Other Properties: Telephone on table. Hat- 
rack. Two bells to be heard off stage — one supposed 
to be door-bell, the other telephone bell (or buzzer). 



SCENE PLOT 



BACKJ/^a 



I I HATRACK 



\\ PHOf^QCRAPH I ^ 

^^ CHAJR 



l^J/\fl>OH^ 





Scene. — Room in Ellsworth home. Door c. dis- 
closes a hall, with hat-rack. A large French window, 
covered with heavy draperies, r. Another door l. A 
phonograph up r. A small iron safe l. This may 
stand on floor or may be supposed to be concealed in a 
cabinet, the wooden door of which opens toward the 
audience, hiding the iron safe door with its combina- 
tion knob, etc. Telephone on table down r. A low 
settee R. Chair up l., and other furnishings to give 
impression of a well-to-do home. 



You're It 



SCENE. — A room in the Ellsworth home. Doors 
c. and L. French window r. Phonograph up r. 
Settee and table with telephone r. Small safe l. 
Chair up l. 

{Curtain rises on empty stage. The * phone rings. 
LizETTE appears in hall, coming from l. She enters 
c. door, comes down r., and answers 'phone.) 

LiZETTE. Meestaire Ellsworth's r-r-r-residence. 
Oui, M'sieur Ellsworth, I veel call to ze madam. 



{She crosses to door, l., and knocks thereon.) 

Ellen (off stage). What is it, Lizette? 
LiZETTE. M'sieur Ellsworth is onto ze, — what you 
call heem? — telephone, madam. 

(Enter Ellen, l. She goes to * phone. Lizette 
busies herself about the room.) 

Ellen. Hello, honey. (Pause.) I'm well, thank 
you, how're you ? (Pause.) That's good. (A longer 
pause. ) No ! Oh, you can't be serious ! Oh, I can't 
believe my own ears. Do you mean to say that some 
feeble mind has given you fifty thousand In God We 
Trust, E Pluribus Unums for that absurd old picture 
we had hanging in the kitchen, covering up the hole 
in the chimney? You say it was a genuine Velasquez. 
Well, hubby dear, I may not be a judge of art, but I've 
this to say, Rube Goldberg could deal Mr. Velasquez 
a royal flush in hearts and still take the pot, according 
to my notion. (Pause.) Well, I admitted I wasn't 



8 you're it 

much on the high-brow stuff. (Pause.) Yeh, the 
lower the brow, the easier it is for me to look 'em in 
the eye. (Another lengthy pause.) Oh, don't do it, 
honey. Don't do it! Please don't bring all that 
money home with you (Lizette pricks up her ears 
at this.) You say the banks are all closed? Well, 
you just sit on the steps of one of them until it opens 
up in the morning. (Pause.) Well, of course, you 

know best, but (Pause.) Oh! will you? 

Honestly? Goody ! Yeh, I've just been dying to take 
a lesson from the wonderful Senor Vlaz himself. Just 
to think, — having that expensive arm around my waist. 
It makes me feel frivolous. (Pause.) Yes, I agree 
with you perfectly, — he's a robber, all well and good, — 
but I'd rather have him teach me the Vlaz Valse than 
to have a tooth pulled. (Pause.) Yes, I'll be ready 

in five minutes. (Pause.) Yes, I will .No, I 

won't Yeh, I'll be ready No, I won't say a 

word. All right Good-bye. 

(She hangs up receiver, and waltzes around room in 

high spirits.) 

Lizette. Madam is happy to-night. 

Ellen. Lizette, youVe put your finger right on the 
trouble. 

Lizette. M'sieur Ellsworth, he make what you call 
ze gr-r-r-ran* coup d'etat? 

Ellen. If that's complimentary, I agree with you. 
He sold that old chromo we had hanging over the 
chimney hole in the kitchen for fifty thousand dollars, 
and he's going to leave the money there in the safe, 
and we're going to the wonderful dancing master, 
Senor Vlaz, for a lesson to-night. But don't you 
breathe a word of it to a soul, Lizette ! 

Lizette. You may trus' me, madam ! 

Ellen. I must change my dress, — I want you to 
hook me up in a minute. 

(Exit, l.) 

(Lizette closes the door, after her, listens at it in- 



YOU RE IT 9 

ieiiily for a moment, and then crosses over to the 
'phone, and the following monologue ensues in a 
subdued though audible tone.) 

LiZETTE. Broadway 6542. Yes. {Pause.) I wish 
to speak to Senor Vlaz, immediately. {Pause.) 
Hello, that you, Mickey? Listen to me carefully. 
The boss just called friend wife on the 'phone and told 
her he's gonna bring fifty thousand bucks here to-night 
and leave 'em in a rickety old safe while they beat it 
to your studio for a dancing lesson. {Pause.) Right 
you are. Put an assistant on to the lesson and you 
make this address as fast as an auto can bring you. 
{Pause.) Geewhilikins, what's the matter with your 
brain? New York full of other people's automobiles 
and you tell me you haven't anything to ride in ! Steal 
one! For goodness' sake, — swipe one! {Pause.) 
Yes, I'll get hold of the combination of the safe, ail 
right. Good-bye; somebody's coming. 

{She hangs tip *phone. Ellen enters, l., dressed in 
handsome evening gown, with back unhooked.) 

Ellen (c). Lizette, hook me up, please. (Lizette 
goes to work and Ellen rambles.) Lizette, take my 
advice, and if ever you find a man as clever as my 
hubby, marry him even if you have to give his wife 
poison to make him available. Honestly, Egbert is 
the smartest man I ever married — I mean, of course — 
I mean that — oh, you know, I never was married to 
any one else — but honestly, Lizette, this man of mine 
owns and operates the most plausible tongue this side 
of William Jennings Bryan. Really, I believe that he 
could talk an Esquimo out of his last sealskin under- 
shirt on the coldest day in January. {Laughs.) Yes, 
he certainly can make the English language do things 
in his favor. Compared to him the ordinary spell- 
binder looks like a wooden nickel in a hatful of real 
money. Take me, for instance. I was engaged to be 
married to an entirely different but thoroughly satis- 
factory human man, and was of the honest opinion 



10 YOU RE IT 

that there was him and me and nobody else in the 
wide wide world, when lo and behold, I met Egbert 
at a dance one night, and you may well imagine my 
surprise upon awakening the next morning to learn 
that my name had changed to Mrs. Egbert. He 
sure does work fast. Now, I ask you, what chance 
does money stand in a radius of hve miles of such a 
man ? 

LiZETTE. Oui, madam. 

(The bell rings.) 

Ellen. Doggone it, somebody at the door! Tell 
'em Mr. Ellsworth is in jail and that I've run off with 
the chauffeur. 

(Exit Ellen, l., and Lizette goes through door c. 
into hall, returning a moment later, followed by 
Mickey, who is dressed in super stylish evening 
togs.) 

Lizette (dropping her dialect). Quick work, son. 
Found a car after all, did you ? 

Mickey. Yeh, daughter, and believe me, when I 
stepped on the engine irritator of that caboose it talked 
back at me with all twelve cylinders. (Pauses and 
then adds plaintively. ) I sure did hate to sell that car. 

Lizette. Do you mean to say that you copped a de 
luxe flivver, drove it here and sold it, all inside of five 
minutes ? 

Mickey. Sure, I sold it to the motorcycle cop that 
was chasin' me for speedin'. 

Lizette. Come, kiss mama. You ain't so dumb as 
you look. (He kisses her lightly, and door-bell rings 
again.) Gee, there's the boss. Make yourself invis- 
ible behind that curtain. 

(Exit Lizette, c, turning off to R. Mickey steps 
into French window, and pidls the curtains to. 
Enter Egbert, c, followed by Lizette. He gives 
her his hat and coat, which she places on hat-rack. 
He enters room, she follows.) 



YOU RE IT II 

Egbert. Has Mrs. Ellsworth dressed yet, Lizette? 

(Ellen enters, l., and drops to floor in curtsey.) 

Ellen. Mrs. Ellsworth has dressed. (Egbert 
smiles, helps her to her feet, and kisses her. They sit 
down on settee, his arm about her waist, her head on 
his shoidder.) Lizette, you may get my wraps, please. 
(Lizette, with a glance at the curtains, exit l.) So 
you sold Mr. Velasquez's nightmare for fifty thousand 
dollars. Honestly, honey, you must have been born 
with a horseshoe in your mouth. 

Egbert (glundy). Yes, Em as lucky as Belgium. 

Ellen (raising her head from his shoidder). Gee, 
you soimd worse than a letter with a black border. 
(In sudden terror.) You haven't lost the money, have 
you ? 

Egbert. No, but doggone it, some flat-footed, dog- 
eared, wall-eyed son of a sea-cook swiped our auto- 
mobile. 

Ellen. Oh, you poor benighted poached egg, do 
you mean to sit here and confess that some inhuman 
barbarian threw that car into gear while you weren't 
looking? 

Egbert. Honey, you've figured it out, just like a 
detective. 

Ellen. Did you notify the police? 

Egbert. I should say not. 

Ellen. Why should you say not? 

Egbert. H somebody swiped your hat, would you 
be liable to brag about it to some guy who'd probably 
make you give up your coat, pants and suspenders? 
No, ma'am. One robber per night is copious for 
friend husband. 

Ellen (admiringly) . My, but you're brainy. — But 
tell me, where did you lose the car, dearie? 

Egbert. I called you up from Senor Vlaz's Dansant 
Castle, and while I was waiting to make an appoint- 
ment for our lesson the deed was did. 

Ellen. Well, there's no use crying over a spilt 
automobile, especially when you've just sandbagged 
some poor fish for ten times what it cost you. 



12 YOU RE IT 

(Enter Lizette, l., with Ellen's wraps. Ellen rises 
and LizETTE places cape over her shoulders and 
hands her her gloves. Egbert crosses over to safe, 
takes a card from an envelope and opens safe zvith 
combination which is printed on the card. Lizette 
gets his hat and coat, while Ellen puts on her 
gloves. Egbert takes wallet from his pocket, re- 
moves a sheaf of bills from it, zvhich he riffles in 
Ellen's face.) 

Egbert. Fifty thousand unadulterated dollars! 

Ellen. Believe me, dearie, that's the richest breeze 
that ever fanned my troubled brow. (Egbert laughs 
and places wallet in safe, which he then closes and 
locks. Lizette crosses to him l., holds his coat, and 
he puts it on. Lizette hands him his hat, and while 
he is putting it on he slips the envelope containing safe 
combination in his pocket nearest Lizette. Ellen, 
R.) Aren't you gonna doll up in your ** soup and 
fish"? 

Egbert (l.). Do you v^ant me to be taken for a 
waiter ? 

(Lizette slips the envelope from his pocket during 
this conversation, removes the card, which she sticks 
in her zvaist, and places envelope hack in Egbert's 
pocket.) 

Ellen. You need not w^ait up for us, Lizette. 
Lizette (l. c). Oui, madam. 

(Mickey, behind curtains, sneezes violently. Every- 
body starts.) 

Ellen. Egbert, there's somebody behind those 
curtains ! 

(Egbert crosses to table down r., takes pistol there- 
from and goes l., keeping face to r.) 

Egbert. I'm going to count five, and then I'm 
gonna set this roman candle off in the direction of that 



YOU RE IT 



13 



window. (He pauses and levels pistol at curtain. 
LizETTE, terrified, edges toward the windozv, r.) 
One — two — three — four — fi 

(LizETTE, with a cry, dashes the curtains aside, reveal- 
ing — nothing! The window is open but empty. 
Egbert dashes out through window. Lizette and 
Ellen huddle together up c.) 

Ellen. Oh, Lizette, I'm so glad you did that. I 
just know I'd have collapsed in a chunk if Egbert had 
fired that cannon. 

Lizette. Oui, madam — I was zat — what you call 
heem ? — ter-r-r-rified. 

(Enter Egbert through French window.) 

J ?• {in chorus). Did you find him? 

Egbert. Nope, he made a clean get-away. ^ 
(He closes window and pulls curtains to.) 

Ellen. I guess we'd better not go out now, had 
we, honey? 

Egbert. Why not? That yegg is at the other end 
of Manhattan Island by this time. Lightning won't 
strike here again to-night. 

Ellen. Lizette, won't you be afraid to stay here 
by yourself? 

Lizette. Oh, oui, madam. I shall be fright — 
what you call heem? — steef. But I will lock ze 
doo-r-r-r-rs, get quick in ze bed and pull ze covair way 
up ovair my — what you call heem? — nut! 

(Egbert and Ellen laugh heartily, and exit through 
hall, c. and to r., follozved by Lizette. Iji a moment 
a door slams and Lizette returns alone. She goes 
to French zvindow and peers out of it. She closes 
curtains and goes l. Mickey enters through win- 
dozv R. and goes up c.) 

Mickey. Ain't the moon bright to-night? 



14 YOU RE IT 

(LiZETTE utters a startled cry, turns, and on seeing 
Mickey, runs and pidls curtains over the windozv.) 

LiZETTE. Gee, Mickey, honey, that was so close, 
I could just naturally see you doing the lock step. 

Mickey. My poor cheild, when will you learn? I 
pulled that sneeze stuff just to start a little excite- 
ment. I do so hate a dull evening. 

LiZETTE. Mickey Mulholland, one half of you is 
nut, one half is jackass and the other two-thirds is 
just plain old fool. Where were you? 

(Mickey laughs and kisses her lightly on the cheek.) 

Mickey. Oh, I was so close he couldn't see me. 
Now for the little problem in arithmetic. (Lizette 
hands him the combination to the safe.) I gotta little 
praise to waft in your direction, kiddo. You can frisk 
a guy as easy as a prohibitionist can say mean things 
about booze. (He opens safe, l., removes wallet, 
which he places in his pocket.) Cribs cracked with 
neatness and dispatch. 

Lizette. That would look swell on a sign. Come 
on, and let's beat it while the beatin's worth mentionin', 
for this guy Ellsworth is just as liable to double back 
on his tracks as he is to have grapefruit for breakfast. 

Mickey. Good for Egbert, an' just to show that 
I'm just as good a sport as he is, I'll hang around a 
while an' wait for him. 

(He goes to phonograph and begins looking over 
records; selects one and puts it on machine.) 

Lizette. No other man I ever loved had your 
talent for huntin' trouble. When you can't find it on 
the groun', you climb a tree to look for its nest. You 
got everything in your head that you need but brains. 

Mickey. Aside from these few trifles, may I have 
the next dance? 

Lizette (hopelessly). Yes, if you'll promise to 
beat it after one record is finished. 



YOU'RE IT 15 

Mickey (mockingly). Your gratitude overwhelms 



me. 



(The machine is started, and Micky and Lizette, 
who should be porticidarly clever dancers, interpo- 
late a specialty. Toward the end of the dance the 
door-hell rings. They stop dancing and Mickey 
dashes to machine and stops it.) 

Lizette. There now ! 

Mickey. Can the " I told you so " stuff, turn out 
the light and follow me. 

(Lizette turjts switch up c. The stage is darkened, 
and Mickey and Lizette move over to the French 
window, R. They sweep the curtains aside, only to 
he confronted hy Egbert, flashlight in one hand, 
playing on them, and pistol in other hand, doing 
likewise.) 

Egbert. Hands up, quick ! ( Mickey and Lizette 

silently raise their hands over their heads and hack 
slowly into the room, followed by Egbert and Ellen, 
who is nervous and frightened. Egbert, r.) Ellen, 
turn the lights on. 

(Ellen goes to switch up c. and stage is flooded with 

light.) 

Mickey (l.). Come right on in, Eggy; we've 
been expectin' you for some time. 

Egbert. I hope we didn't keep you waiting. 

Mickey. Your apology is accepted. 

Egbert. I assure you we consider it quite an honor 
to entertain the renowned Senor VIaz in our humble 
home, don't wq, Ellen? 

Ellen. Y-y-y-yes — s-s-shall I c-c-call the p-p-p- 
police? 

Egbert. No, I rather think I can handle Senor 
Vlaz's case personally. (To Mickey.) I'm going to 
turn you loose on two conditions. 

Mickey. Tabulate I 



l6 you're it 

Egbert. The first is that you are to give tis each a 
lesson in your famous dance absolutely free of charge. 

(Mickey, l., grins and lowers his hands, Lizette, 
L. c, doing likewise.) 

Mickey. You're a regular guy, I'll say you are — 
and as to the lesson, you're on for the very best I 
know. 

Egbert. I thank you; and secondly 

Mickey. I am to turn over to you a wallet con- 
taining somewhere in the neighborhood of fift}^ thou- 
sand shekels. 

Egbert. You're a perfect mind reader. 

(Mickey tosses the wallet on the floor and Egbert 
picks it up and slips it into his inside coat pocket. 
He slips the revolver into his outside overcoat pocket 
and takes the coat off, laying it on settee, r. front. 
Lizette helps Ellen off with her wraps, which she 
lays on chair up l.) 

Mickey. You teach Mr. Ellsv^orth, Lizette, and 
I'll request the honor of Mrs. Ellsworth's partnership. 

(Lizette crosses over to Egbert; Mickey starts 
the phonograph and both couples dance — this time 
the dance being frankly instructive in character. 
Time should be allowed for the Ellsworths to learn 
the step, and then Mickey intentionally guides 
Ellen into the settee on which Egbert's coat is 
lying. He releases Ellen and slips his hand into 
the pocket containing the revolver. Ellen sees this 
move. ) 

Ellen {frantically). Quick, Egbert, quick! 

(Egbert, l., releases Lizette and dashes for Mickey, 
who, however, has the revolver waiting for him, and 
Egbert sensibly stops short, c. Mickey, r. c, taps 
him on the shoidder with the revolver.) 



YOU RE IT 



17 



Mickey. Tag, you're it. {To Lizette, up l.) 
Get the wallet out of his pocket, Liz. (Lizette re- 
inoves wallet from Egbert's pocket and gives it to 
Mickey, who kisses it and drops it into his pocket. 
Lizette takes Ellen's wraps from chair up l. 
Mickey and Lizette back toward the French window, 
R., covering the Ellsworths zvith revolver. At the 
window Mickey halts.) Mr. Ellsworth, you've been 
strictly on the square with me, an' so it's only fair of 
me to warn you that anybody who comes out of this 
window for the next five minutes is very liable to be 
perforated with a sudden attack of bad luck. Do you 
get me? 

Egbert {soberly), I get you. 

Mickey. Then, au revoir. 

{Exit Lizette, r., follozved by Mickey, who quickly 
draws the curtains. Ellen rushes c. to Egbert, 
who devotes his attention to calming her, as she is 
extremely nervous, and when he succeeds he walks 
over to the window, throws the curtains back, show- 
ing that Lizette and Mickey have disappeared.) 

Ellen. I don't mind the money or the wrap so 
much, but I sure hate to lose Lizette. She was the 
best maid I ever had. 

Egbert. Lizette is undoubtedly lost to you for- 
ever, honey, but you need lose no sleep over the fifty 
thou. Gaze hither. 

{He removes a second wallet from his hip pocket, 
takes out another set of bills and riffles them in 
Ellen's face.) 

Ellen {with religious fervor). Oh, revive me 
again ! 

Egbert. That little roll that Senor Vlaz took 
traveling with him can be bought for one dollar a 
thousand pieces at any toy and novelty store. I never 
trusted that girl. 

Ellen. And we got our lesson for nothing, didn't 
we? 



i8 



YOU RE IT 



Egbert. Precisely, and I claim that is remarkable 
enough to deserve celebrating, so put in another needle. 

(A new needle is placed in the machine, the music is 
started and as the Ellsworths commence to dance, 
the curtain slowly falls.) 



CURTAIN 



Unusually Good Entertalnmen 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

GRADUATION DAY AT WOOD HILX. SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six 
males and four females, with several minor parts. Time of 
playing, two hours. Modern costumes. Simple interior scenes; 
may be presented in a had without scener3\ The unusual com- 
bination of a real "entertainment," including music, recitations, 
.etc., with an interesting love story. The graduation exercises 
include short speeches, recitations, songs, funny interruptions, 
and a comical speech by a country school trustee. Price, 15 
cents. 

EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight male 
and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. 
Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos- 
tumes, modern. IMiss Marks, the teacher, refuses to marry a 
trustee, who threatens to discharge her. The examination in- 
cludes recitations and songs, and brings out many funny answers 
to questions. At the close Robert Coleman, an old lover, claims 
the teacher. Very easy and very effective. Price, 15 cents. 

BACK TO THE COUNTKY STORE. A Rural Enter- 
tainment in Three Acts, by Ward Macauley. For four male 
and five female characters, with some supers. Time, two hours. 
Tvv'o scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. All the principal parts are 
sure hits. Quigley Higginbctham, known as "Quig," a clerk in 
a country store, aspires to be a great author or singer and 
decides to try his fortunes in New York. The last scene is in 
Quig's home. He returns a. failure but is offered a partnership 
in the country store. He pops the question in the midst of a 
surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. 
Price, 15 cents. 

THE DISTRICT CONVENTION. A Farcical Sketch 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one 
female, or twelve males. Any number of other parts or super- 
numeraries may be added. Plays forty-five minutes. No special 
'scenery is required, and the costumes and properties are all 
eacy. The play shows an uproarious political nominating con- 
vention. The climax comes when a woman's rights cham- 
pion, captures the convention. There is a great chance to bur- 
lesque modern politics and to work in local gags. Every 
part will make a hit. Price, 15 cents. 

SI SLOCUM'S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female 
characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. 
Plays one hour. Interior scene, or may be played without set 
scenery. Costumes, modern. The rehearsal for an entertain- 
ment in the village church gives plenty of opportunity for 
specialty work. A very jolly entertainment of the sort adapted 
to almost any place or occasion. Price, 15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

A SURPRISE PARTY AT BRINKLEY'S. An En- 
tertainment in One Scene, by Ward Macauley. Seven male ancj 
seven female characters. Interior scene, or may be given with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. Time, one hour. By the 
author of the popular successes, "Graduation Day at Wood Hill 
School," "Back to the Covmtry Store," etc. The villagers have 
planned a birthday surprise party for Mary Brinkley, recently 
graduated from college. They all join in jolly games, songs,' 
conundrums, etc., and Mary becomes engaged, which surprises 
the surprisers. The entertainment is a sure success. Price, 15 cents^ 

JONES VS. JINKS. A Mock Trial in One Act, by 
Edward Mumford. Fifteen male and six female characters, with 
supernumeraries if desired. May be played all male. Many of the 
parts (members of the jury, etc.) are small. Scene, a simple 
interior ; may be played without scenery. Costumes, modern. 
Time of playing, one hour. This mock trial has many novel 
features, tmusual characters and quick action. Nearly every 
character has a funny entrance and laughable lines. There are 
many rich parts, and fast fun throughout. Price, 15 cents. 

THE SIGHT-SEEING CAR. A Comedy Sketch in One 
Act, by Ernest M. Gould. For seven males, two females, or 
may be all male. Parts may be doubled, with quick changes, so 
that four persons may play the sketch. Time, forty-five minutes. 
Simple street scene. Costumes, modern. The superintendent 
of a sight-seeing automobile engages two men to run the 
machine. A Jew, a farmer, a fat lady and other humorous 
characters give them all kinds of trouble. This is a regular gat- 
ling-gun stream of rollicking repartee. Price, 15 cents. 

THE CASE OF SMYTHE VS. SMITH. An Original 
Mock Trial in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eighteen males 
and two females, or may be all male. Plays about one hour. 
Scene, a county courtroom ; requires no scenery ; may be played 
in an ordinary hall. Costumes, modern. This entertainment is 
nearly perfect of its kind, and a sure success. It can be easily 
produced in any place or on any occasion, and provides almost 
any number of good parts. Price, 15 cents. 

THE OLD MAIDS' ASSOCIATION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment in One Act, by Louise Latham Wilson. For thirteen 
females and one male. The male part may be played by a 
female, and the number of characters increased to twenty or 
more. Time, forty minutes. The play requires neither scenery 
nor properties, and very little in the way of costumes. Can 
easily be prepared in one or two rehearsals. Price, 25 cents. 

BARGAIN DAY AT BLOOMSTEIN'S. A Farcical 

Entertainment in One Act, by Edward Mumford. For five males 
and ten females, with supers. Interior scene. Costumes, mod- 
ern. Time, thirty minutes. The characters and the situations 
which arise from their endeavors to buy and sell make rapid-fire 
fun from start to finish. Price, 15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



Successful Plays for All Girls 

In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List 

YOUNG DOCTOR DEVINE. A Farce in Two Acts, 
by Mrs. E. J. H. Goodfellow. One of the most popular 
plays for girls. For nine female characters. Time in 
playing, thirty minutes. Scenery, ordinary interior. Mod- 
ern costumes. Girls in a boarding-school, learning that a 
young doctor is coming to vaccinate all the pupils, eagerly con- 
sult each other as to the manner of fascinating the physician. 
When the doctor appears upon the scene the pvipils discover that 
the physician is a female practitioner. Price, 15 cents. 

SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank 
DuMONT. For eleven females. Time, thirty minutes. Costumes, 
fantastic gowns, or dominoes. Scene, interior. A grand expose 
of Masonry. Some women profess to learn the secrets of a 
Masonic lodge by hearing their husbands talk in their sleep, 
and they institute a similar organization. Price, 15 cents. 

A COMMANDING POSITION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment, by Amelia Sanford. For seven female char- 
acters and ten or more other ladies and children. Time, one 
hour. Costumes, modern. Scenes, easy interiors and one street 
scene. Marian Young gets tired living with her aunt, Miss 
Skinflint. She decides to "attain a commanding position." 
Marian tries hospital nursing, college settlement work and 
school teaching, but decides to go back to housework. Price, 15 
cents. 

HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For ten female characters. 
Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy interior. Costumes, modern. 
Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it's "the 
deepest kind of a secret." Before announcing it they must win 
the approval of Harold's uncle, now in Europe, or lose a possible 
ten thousand a year. At a tea INTabel meets her dearest friend. 
Maude sees !Mabel has a secret, she coaxes and Mabel tells her. 
But Maude lets out the secret in a few minutes to another 
friend and so the secret travels. Price, 15 cents. 

THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts, 
by Josephine H. Cobb and Jennie E. Paine. For eight female 
characters. Plays one hour and three-quarters. Scenes, inter- 
iors at a seaside hotel. Costumes, modern. The action of the 
play is located at a summer resort. Alice Graham, in order to 
chaperon herself, poses as a widow, and Miss Oxford first claims 
her as a sister-in-law, then denounces her. The onerous duties 
of Miss Oxford, who attempts to serve as chaperon to Miss 
Howe and Miss Ashton in the face of many obstacles, furnish 
an evening of rare enjoyment. Price 15 cents. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 

The Power of 




Expression and efficiency go hand '™"'''JJ'''''5'''"li'iilillil ^ 

^ ^ ^ 018 391 025 5 • 

The power of clear and forceful expression brings cuim- 

dcnce and poise at all times — in private gatherings, in public 

discussion, in society, in business. 

It is an invaluable asset to any man or woman. It can often 
be turned into money, but it is always a real joy. 

In learning to express thought, we learn to command 
thought itself, and thought is power. You can have this 
power if you will. 

Whoever has the power of clear expression is always sure 
©f himself. 

The power of expression leads to: 

The ability to think "on your feet" 

Successful public speaking 

Effective recitals 

The mastery over other minds 

Social prominence 

Business success 

Efficiency in any undertaking 

Are these things worth while? 

They are all successfully taught at The National School of 
Elocution and Oratory^ which during many years has de- 
veloped this power in hundreds of men and women. 

A catalogue giving full information as to how any of these 
accomplishments may be attained will be sent free on request. 

THE NATIONAL SCHOOL OF 
ELOCUTION AND ORATORY 

Park-way Building Philadelphia 



